Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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