SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
