I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
