We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
