I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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