i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My dick has a subreddit
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
