All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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