why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
third nipple confirmed
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
