She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
