it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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