What a fucking waste of an outfit
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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