He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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