I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
