You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
