OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
