Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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