I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
