i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
