p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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