Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
