is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
