just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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