my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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