Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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