I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
