I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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