Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
