I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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