dude i'm inner monologue high
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
