Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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