Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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