WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
