dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
