My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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