with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
