In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
