I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
