I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
