So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
