we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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