I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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