you win again, gameday.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Found your dick twin last night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
