i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
