Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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