You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
