And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
