Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
