We're like a lot better than the average bears
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We need a shit load of segways right now
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
