yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
