On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
