I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
