Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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